carling’s

Since I’m in Kuching and  haf all the time in the world, it’s time to finally sit down and blog.

Oh just to recap, i’ve actually had nightmares before coming back.

First nightmare was I dreamt that the family car i drove in Kuching got stolen.

Second nightmare was i actually missed my flight back to Kuching.

You know how they say dreams are actually telling you something about yourself.. *I am confused*.. Am i afraid of going back? Am i afraid that my hometown has changed so rapidly into the place i dread. Or wat?

Anyways, I caught up with an old friend today. We were once very close and this friend was like family to me. However, we’ve drifted apart. Conversations were empty. Eventhough we were catching up, but it felt like there was no sincere care. Questions were asked just for the sake of knowing how good or bad your life is compared to theirs. And replies this friend gave made u feel like u were actually conversing with a stranger, and not your best friend.

Maybe i’m just being paranoid. But it just doesn’t feel the same anymore.

However, I still treat this friend as family, eventhough this friend does not.

I still think this friend has the purest and kindest of heart, eventhough this friend laughs at my thoughts.

I am still willing to pour my heart out to this friend, eventhough this friend does not believe in me anymore.

I am still looking for the best friend i once knew, but this friend tells me he’s no longer there.

I guess we just have to bear the consequences for the choices we make in life. maybe for as long as we live.

So it’s pretty early to be writing this, but i don’t thk i’ll haf the time to even eat or shit, let alone write this. therefore, here we are.

1. get a bloody new handphone!

- to all ppl who had trouble calling me. blame the phone. and my shrinking savings account. and next time, please leave a msg.

2. get a nice handbag for work!

- I know, this one’s not really hard, but i don’t settle for cheap stuff. =p so, am praying really really hard that when i see something i love, there’s a big fat discount sign next to it! *crossfingers*

3. Facials at least once a month!!!

oh my God, i know this sounds bimbotic. but i’m getting old and facials are actually preventing me from that. So, in a way it’s an investment! (writes down on post-it: facial = investment)

- The challenge in actually achieving this is:

1. Time: no time!!!!! I”M going back to work even on weekends. grrrrr

2. Boyfriend: who psychos me into thinking i don’t really need facials and that i’m still good looking and don’t need to waste so much money. AND i actually believe him!!!!!! DAMMIT! (recitestoself: facial = investment!!!!)

4. Lose weight

In my whole 24 years of breathing, this has never been an issue. F@#%@#CK!

Methods:

- no more meals after 9

- fruits or salad for dinner

- stop eating while working!!

- doing 20 sit ups every night.

- discipline in all the abov3!

5. Get promoted

This is one very important resolution. Achieving this one could solve my resolutions #1 and #2 above. But in order to get a promotion, i would have to sacrifice my time. and that conflicts with #3 and #4.*frowns*

6. Pass ACCA!

AT LEAST ONE FUCKING PAPER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SCREW YOU MARKERS WHO GIVE PPL A 49! GET A LIFE AND STOP PICKING ON STUDENTS WHO HAF OTHER THINGS TO DO THEN STUDYING FOR YOUR STUPID EXAM!!&$@#^&%^%%$

7. Stop spending money on junk food!~!!! (I’ve actually run out of resolutions, and this is the best one i’ve come up with)

Which is also the reason for #4. stop stop stop stop stop!

7 resolutions for year 2009. (7 because it’s my favourite number)

*yawn* i’m supposed to write an ending to this. but very sleepy la..

I guess i’ll blog again in 2009.

-n-

I hate it when it happens. It’s like I didn’t foresee it coming. Or I haven’t changed at all. Or i’m just doomed. Doomed to be unhappy for the rest of my life. sigh *stoopidstoopidcarlingowaysgomakestoopidwrongchoices*

Ok, enuf about relationships and sad stories! I went to maison on thursday ladies night and i was SOOO SOOO happy cos they checked my IC .. hoho. means i still look young! *gleeeeee* ^^

Plus, goldfish is still looking pretty hot i must say hehe. AND I HAD FUN LIKE I NEVER HAD IN YEARS!!!!! all thanks to YuinShin’s bunch *I’vemissedyouguyscrazypartyanimals*!!! And we’ll be heading to Euphoria next week*can’twaitcan’twait!*! =DD  Gawd i miss those uni days~

Where did those carefree days go where u only had to worrry about exams and assignments. and NOT timesheets, clients, budgets, deadlines, promotions, increments, bosses, politics, etc. grrr.. It made me felt so old being amongst those college kids. if only i could turn back time and freeze it!!dammit!

Anyways, 2 more weeks and it’s back to kuching. *keepingfingerscrossed so that everything runs *ahem* smoothly without interruptions. I miss the security and comfort of being home. *haih* plus it’s the raining season. and i love rain in kuching =D

"I’m tired of gettin old, i’m only good at being young"
~John Mayer’s "Stop This Train"~

I love u John..**

I don’t believe in marriages. nor the "forever love" and "u complete me" kind of bullshit. I’d rather believe in myself.

*snorts*

ok. i dono why i wrote what i wrote, but lately thre haf been alot of wedding bells invitations and it just really got me thinking. Why? or rather, What for? alot of ppl say u will understand in time to come. to which i’d retort i wish that time would never come. because then i would be just the same like you. yayayaya, this post will prolly offend lotsof ppl but i don’t care. 
*pout*

I need to get out from here. !

This post is simply written out of pure boredom.

A month ago, I was stressed up to my eyeballs . Stressed until i didn’t have time to think about laundry(not the pub at the curve, but real washingmachine laundry, god why does it sounds so pathetic to seem to be one of the problems in my life), food,  relationships, anything, you name it.. but WORK!

And today, everything ends. OH MY GOD. I feel …
relieved? .. NO.
Happy? not really.
empty? SPOT ON!

haiyah, wat is wrong with me? it’s like when my life is suddenly stress-free, i feel even more stressed that i have nothing to stress about. fan jin.! =.=

Conclusion, I’m stress-aholic.

BTw,  i was checkin out JOhn Mayer’s blog today. I fell even more in love with him than i ever was. haih. please visit www.johnmayer.com/blog *grin*

i should’ve joined the entertainment industry. AT Least, from there is a chance of meeting him in this lifetime. OK! i’magonna buy his ORIGINAL CDs!!!! wA so happy!!! i *HEART* JOHN MAYER!!!! =D~~~~~~ pls support the ORIGINAL CDs (John Mayer only).

Note-to-self: PLS take more of those vain pictures for facebook & friendster. I feel so outdated. =.=

Suddenly feel like emo-ing. Dono if it’s bcos of the music i’m listening to (snow patrol)? or isit the pressure from work? or it’s jes having my dear senior (now manager) sit right in front of me reviewing my work. haih.

3 more weeks, my life will change entirely. I will no longer :

- be facing my manager 10 hours everyday & 6 days a week

- have her wave to me from her room and say, "carling wong.. ur letter all wrong laa"..

-laugh stupidly at stupid joe’s hair and see his stupid expression *stupidfatface* -.-"

-observe alexis’s expression when i say she’s getting fatter and she looks like my future mom (haha :P)

-laugh at ken’s #$@#sleeptoilet!#%@, man yee’s #@$@%barf#$%^# and connie’s #@$%@crynonstop!@$$ drunk encounters (wahahhahahaah still laughing wahahahahahha)

- play matchmaker for the following: joe, siew hooi, alexis, ken, connie and manyee. haih. so sien so few ppl to play.

-be "legend" of the company

-say weird stuff without ppl thinkin i’m weird

-have chatting sessions in chatrooms on whr to makan / club next

-hangout, crap and laugh loudly in the pantry but all hurrily stand up to leave once the boss come in  haha.

-blast songs from my brand new laptop and sing aloud brand new songs and have ppl complain for being too loud T.T

- whine and complain to my manager about stupid officers and clients and she’ll say " nvm, pass the line to me! " *wah seh*

-spy on the boss (cos he very "yeng" and leng chai and old enuf to be my father hehee) but still very lengchai. *drool*

- get called into the boss’s room to clear queries but in the end also ask few simple questions only phew!  *ganjionguntilcandieitellyou*

- join company / annual dinners and drink until red as tomato and ppl think i’m drunk but actually i’m not. (in the end the others get drunk haha *so proud*)

- anxiously waiting for friday to end then go play.. only to come back on saturday morning..

- claim OT eventho i’m writing my blog hehe

- and many more one post kenot finish.. haih.. very da sad

I will miss you :

1. My manager, for always having my back, teaching me, always there to support and help me and not getting pissed for my stupid mistakes.

2. My colleagues, for being as ‘fei’ as i am.. ok mebe not so like me. but abit only.. . pls don make me cry then.. haha siew hooi no chance haha hoho :P:P aih.

3. the management (esp the boss) for being so lengchai.. haha jes kidding.

aih. time to say goodbye soon..

haih. T.T

I’m so so so so so …!! there’s not even a word to describe it. just ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

since yesterday oredi stupid things keep happening to me. Y DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO ME???????????????????????????????????? :((((((((((((((((((((

I’m sorry i can’t console u. I never know wat to say. But u are important to me. And if you want, i will always be there until you get better. Knowing you’ve jumped down the hole, i’ll always be at the end to catch you. Time heals all pain. This is wat i always tell myself. Eventho i haven’t fully recovered, i know i will one day, and i know you will too! Let us pass this phase quickly, shall we? Again, please call me

Little girl, you disappoint me. U never know how ur actions affect ppl. U never care. In a way, you’re happy and carefree, but it’s worrying for ur family and ur frens who cared. Despite our countless advice, our care, u still went ahead with your decision. Please don’t let us down this time. It’s time to grow up and take a little bit of responsibility. Nobody’s gonna be there waiting to wipe ur shit problems forever, when you’re the one flushing your life down the drain. Do think wisely.

So happy happy happy! =D

Now, i’m not much of a Valentine’s fan. I (like most ppl) think it’s a stupid day where guys waste too much money on silly things that will either go into the toilet bowl or trash the next few days.

Yet, it was our first Valentine’s so he decided to make it a memorable one. *i can’t stop smiling till now*

545pm, we got back from work to rush to The Smokehouse where our reservations were made for 730. To me then, Valentine’s was jes any other ordinary day and i obliged to the doublepriced dinner jes to make him happy.

As we reached home and played around with bebe (our dog) for a bit.

"Darling, can help me get my laptop from car boot?" while he was teaching bebe to sit.

"aiya, u take urself la." i was stroking bebe’s hair.

Thinking back at this point, i thk i really bodoh sial. T.T

5mins later..

"Darling, alot of ur shoes are stil in the car le. U wana take some out?"

"isit…?ok.." (all i could think about are my long lost shoes only) *kicksselfforbeingso bodoh sial..

As i opened car boot, there was an unfamiliar paper bag in the middle. *ahaha i was so happy i couldn’t stop smiling. and all this while i thot my Valentine’s gift was a Sigg water bottle -.-

So happy! As i opened the box containing several L’ocitanne’s products. *i love cherry blossom*  just wat i needed. *screams LOVE*

The night ended with pianoplaying,candle-lit dinner in the very-english smokehouse. (which i fell asleep immediately after dinner hehe)

I love you baby. Thanks for making our first Valentine’s so perfect. *sohappyhappyhappy!

it’s oways like this. oways fuck up my time. oways planning kanasai. oways!!! how da hell is a girl to survive in kl all by herself when rapists and snatch thieves are jes waiting in the dark corner of every street. how the hell u expect me to go to times square alone? take taxi? u thk i don wan ar?  dammit. i hate kl. i wana leave malaysia!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!