carling’s

Since I’m in Kuching and  haf all the time in the world, it’s time to finally sit down and blog.

Oh just to recap, i’ve actually had nightmares before coming back.

First nightmare was I dreamt that the family car i drove in Kuching got stolen.

Second nightmare was i actually missed my flight back to Kuching.

You know how they say dreams are actually telling you something about yourself.. *I am confused*.. Am i afraid of going back? Am i afraid that my hometown has changed so rapidly into the place i dread. Or wat?

Anyways, I caught up with an old friend today. We were once very close and this friend was like family to me. However, we’ve drifted apart. Conversations were empty. Eventhough we were catching up, but it felt like there was no sincere care. Questions were asked just for the sake of knowing how good or bad your life is compared to theirs. And replies this friend gave made u feel like u were actually conversing with a stranger, and not your best friend.

Maybe i’m just being paranoid. But it just doesn’t feel the same anymore.

However, I still treat this friend as family, eventhough this friend does not.

I still think this friend has the purest and kindest of heart, eventhough this friend laughs at my thoughts.

I am still willing to pour my heart out to this friend, eventhough this friend does not believe in me anymore.

I am still looking for the best friend i once knew, but this friend tells me he’s no longer there.

I guess we just have to bear the consequences for the choices we make in life. maybe for as long as we live.